To Be Beautiful You Must Feel Beautiful….First

January 25, 2012

maskHow often do the same tapes play in our heads? “I am not good enough”, ” I look terrible”, “I never seem to get it right”,” I always look so old and tired”.

The list goes on. It certainly does for many. Day after day, year after year these messages firmly keep some in a never ending cycle of self sabotage. Always looking on the outside for solutions that maybe best explored from the inside first.

From the inside, I mean what happens in our heads. Our spirit, if you will. Our inner identity and self image.

Throughout the years I have know many beautiful men and women. Some were cover girls and boys others were just those exceptional lookers who seemed to sail through life as if on a cloud while the rest of us struggled along doing what ever we could to keep up. Of course I am saying this a bit tongue and cheek, but seriously to the eyes of the world this rings true more often than not.

In my business I am in contact with celebrities in both the movie and fashion industries. People who’s physical appearance have set standards for beauty world wide. Seemingly flawless individuals who like most of us are never completely happy with the way they look. Are you surprised?  I was. Unfortunately for confidentiality reasons I cannot refer to anyone by name and you may wonder how I would know these people in the first place. Well, the reason is they contacted me for advice and most are now avid users of the Easy Eye Solutions and other products I have recommended.

Funny thing about people in Hollywood and in fashion, most will never admit publicly that they too suffer from the dreaded under eye and facial issues we all deal with at one time or another.

The point I am trying to make, is, if the most beautiful people in the world have image issues then is anyone truly beautiful? I began to think about who I thought was beautiful and if I thought that I personally was beautiful.

This was not easy to do.  I have some good-looking friends, however, there was something deeper that needed looking at.  I realized that those who I thought truly beautiful, in many ways would not be considered beautiful in terms of physical appearance.  They had a certain undefinable something that made them stand-out and attract attention wherever they went.

I realized later that these people had one major thing in common; they believed the key to being beautiful is feeling beautiful. I could not understand this? How could anyone feel beautiful unless they had a mirror or other people to tell them so? Listen, for me, I know how hard it is to be happy with what’s in the mirror if I don’t feel beautiful. I wanted to find out more, so I called some friends together just to share ideas on the subject. A little hard to do because most people don’t like to say they look or feel beautiful for fear it might sound like boasting when, in fact, they are aware that they stand out. Once I explained that I wanted to explore this issue, not only to enlighten myself but also to help others tap into this way of thinking beautiful, they became eager to contribute.

What came out of this was a starting point and some guidelines to follow. Keep in mind that I have touched on this topic in other posts but felt that this was worth exploring further.

Everyone agreed that using a mirror was important. Of course for the obvious reason that people use a mirror but to also use it as a tool for self affirmation. Look at yourself and notice others. Everyone is unique. You don’t look like others and they don’t look like you. Even if you have an identical twin there will be differences. In the mirror say to yourself, and use your name while making eye contact with your reflection, ” I love you (your name) You are perfect just as you are”. You can even add “(your name), you are beautiful and everybody loves you”.
They believed that this exercise causes a shift in thinking which leads to a shift in personal energy.  This shift will change a person’s outlook and ultimately their circumstances. We need to accept everyone, and ourselves, for who they are. Just because someone is a different shape, size, or color than you doesn’t mean that they don’t deserve to have self-confidence as well. Give people around you reasons to believe that they are beautiful. If you do that  for others, it will do the same for you, and you’ll realize that beauty is abundant – around you and within you.

All too easy, I thought, until I tried this myself. I stepped up to the mirror and immediately noticed a few things that I didn’t particularly like, but forged ahead. I could have never imagined how silly I would feel nor how difficult it was. Making eye contact with myself and saying these simple lines proved to be more of a challenge than I thought. I felt shy and embarrassed. At first I could not maintain eye contact.  I could look at myself but when I started to say the affirmations I would look away. What did this mean? Here I am, a confident businessman who can stand in front of a room and talk about anything, but could not relax with my own reflection.

I was reminded of the days when I was an ugly teenager who’s feet grew faster than the rest of his body and I could trip over thin air; my face was covered with acne and I was teased relentlessly by others.  I still carried this with me after all these years and it still affected my life.  It explained my timid nature when asking someone out on a date and why I could spend hours preparing myself for a social engagement. An exercise that initially seemed so simple became the avenue for such profound self-discovery.

No matter how uncomfortable you may feel doing this mirror-work, keep at it and do it everyday.

After some time, I can now share with you all that the mirror-work has made a significant change in my life.  I never thought of myself as ugly but there was a part of me that held back an enthusiasm for personal relationships. I was always considered somewhat of a loner.  I was content with building a successful business and did not have much time for personal relationships.

Since the mirror exercises my friends have noticed that I smile more. That I make eye contact with people and have a warmth about me that people had not noticed before. I have even been told that I look healthier, happier and younger. Consequently I am enjoying much more attention than before. I was a man who used to shy away from the spotlight, now, I am loving every second of it.

I encourage any of my readers to do the mirror-work developed by some wonderful, powerful and beautiful people who live fantastic lives.

Sometimes we find answers to questions we never knew we had. Answers which open doorways to amazing destinations that we never thought we would go. It takes a few simple steps and a willingness to go beyond what we accept as the status quo. The move forward can be enormous or subtle, the point is to move forward. After all, isn’t that what life is all about?

Zach Merrill